This Is Malaysia - What A True Malaysian Should Know

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS: Ajinomoto

NATIONAL INSTANT FOOD :Maggi Mee

NATIONAL BREAKFAST :Nasi Lemak

NATIONAL LUNCH :Nasi Ayam

NATIONAL SUPPER :Roti Canai & Teh Tarik

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:Traffic Jam

NATIONAL CONDOM:None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buyingcondoms.So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearestpack, any pack, pay and leave before the cashier caneven blink an eye.

NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION :Pineapple

NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:Stout. Many Malaysian men swear by it. But then aftera few pints they start swearing at everything.. ..

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):Food Poisoning

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):Menstrual Pain

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep,mother-in-law around, early appointment, food notdigested yet, aircond not cold enough, aircond toocold, nail polish not dry yet, forgot to take thepill, sleepy, stomach cramps, period, haven ' t removemake-up, haven ' t shower, no water supply, going towatch ' Santa Barbara ', depress, no mood, etc...

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:None. Malaysian men never refuse sex.

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIARRHOEA :Cap Kaki Tiga. Down one bottle with warm water and youare all 'dried up'.

NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:Panadol. The 'cure for all'. If it fails we haveanother secret weapon - Tiger Balm.

NATIONAL CURE FOR NAUSEA :Moh Fah Kor.

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.

NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):Happy Hours.

NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):The sight of a police road block.

NATIONAL RICE COOKER :NATIONAL Rice Cooker

NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.

NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4!

NATIONAL ANSWER FOR 'WHERE ARE YOU'?-on the way.

NATIONAL OFFICIAL TIME FOR BEING LATE-10 minutes

NATIONAL REASON FOR PRICE INCREASEPetrol naik lagi kawan... semua barang pun kena naikler... inclusive chicken meat?

NATIONAL REASON FOR PETROL INCREASES: Still cheaper than other country la....

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR CAUSING TRAFFIC JAM:there was accident on the other side of the road.. ofcourse must slow down and tengok-tengok, kaypoh-kaypohlah!

NATIONAL REASON WHEN REJECTING INVITATION :'I got some work to do la..u all go first la..'

NATIONAL REASON FOR COLLAPSED BUILDINGS & LEAKYPARLIAMENT ROOFS:An act of God. Definitely nothing to with greased palmsand poor quality control. Nope, none whatsoever.

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR IRRESPONSIBLE POLITICAL STATEMENTS:None. We were misquoted.

NATIONAL MINISTERIAL REASON FOR INCREASING TOLL RATES:Orang cakap mau naik mesti mau naik lah! Lu ingat ini jalan saya punya bapak punya kah?!

NATIONAL REASON FOR HAVING BIG ONION DOMES ON TAXPAYERFUNDED PUBLIC BUILDINGS:dunno. It's not as if we're anywhere near the middleeast.

NATIONAL REASON FOR SPURNING BAILOUT PACKAGES FROMFOREIGN CAR COMPANIES:We're about to unveil another badly designed low budgetcar, which, coupled with our notorious customer serviceand corporate mismanagement, will see us bankrupt againwithin the next 5 years. And so we have absolutely noneed for the Germans and their silly car-making andmarket-positioning knowhow, thank you very much.

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR JUMPING QUEUE (TRAFFIC JAM OR WHATEVER QUEUE) :everybody doing what lah............

NATIONAL EXCUSE NOT PAYING SAMAN ACCORDING TO DUE DATE:Relax ler... government will give discount one of thesedays

NATIONAL EXCUSE TO BRIBE (ANY CONDITION) :give them minum kopi lar......